No Forgiveness In This World
by Soulhearts
Summary: He was carted away. Tortured beyond recognition, abandoned, neglected, forgotten for what seemed an eternity… Although, he supposed, that was his ultimate price for being a war trophy child. Loki had had enough time to reflect on his past, then he'd become restless, and then… he'd lost hope.
1. No Forgiveness In This World

He was carted away. Tortured beyond recognition, abandoned, neglected, forgotten for what seemed an eternity… Although, he supposed, that was his ultimate price for being a war trophy child. Loki had had enough time to reflect on his past, then he'd become restless, and then… he'd lost hope. The man, broken and unrecognizable, had never really had anything handed to him in life. He'd had to work for everything – _fight for everything – _and the man wondered why _he_ had been the one who had ended up like this.

Loki scoffed at himself as his shame rose to the surface. _Of course it's because it has to be someone. I just happened to be the smallest. Then damned Odin decided to take pity on me… what a pathetic waste of his time…_

But even though Loki, now no one's son, truly believed that he deserved his punishment, it didn't stop him from wishing. He badly wished for _someone_ to visit him. _Anyone _would do. All he needed after all this time was a companion to confide in. Someone to at least talk to him! But that was about as likely as returning to Ásgard and his old life…

Loki turned to the lined wall behind him and marked the three-hundredth and sixty-five-day line next to the others. Just another eternity to go…

On his prison bed, the raven-haired man turned numbly on to his side. The realization had hit him fully as he marked that line – he was just an unwanted person. Cast away from everything and everyone he'd ever loved. He closed his eyes as he attempted to fall asleep, and possibly die that way when, suddenly, great stomps were heard down the corridor. Loki ignored them, presuming them to be from a large, possibly drunk guard. The dark haired man curled up into a ball on his well-used bed and continued to drift off to the sound of his hungry stomach, making sounds of dying whales. Gods, when _had_ he last eaten? Loki thought it must have been over two days by now… but, he was used to it. Any fats his thin body had had were most certainly used up long ago; though Loki quickly stuffed himself when food _was _presented.

"Loki?"

That voice. It spun Loki around instantly, his eyes widening as he set them upon a blonde man standing outside his cell. _Thor_.

Thor gripped the bars of Loki's cage and peered in, as if the man was some exotic animal up for auction. Loki sat upright, not bothering with sneers or remarks. Loki was past these; he knew they would get him nowhere.

"Thor." He acknowledged blandly, scratching his left arm anxiously.

Thor looked concerned, but also incredibly happy to see Loki, which made the man confused and sad, although he wasn't sure why. When Loki thought about companionship, he meant someone who wasn't as thick as a brick! _Anyone but his golden-child brother!_

"H– How are you…?" Thor began, hesitantly and awkwardly, his golden hair falling neatly around his face.

"Gee, I'm just perfect!" Loki remarked sarcastically. Upon remembering that he should probably not _offend_ the future ruler of Ásgard, lest his immortality rot in jail, Loki bit his lip to curb all further unpleasant comments. Not that it really mattered if he did or not. Thor only continued to look at him with his sad sapphire eyes, seeing right through his younger brother's pitiful charade.

"Can I come in?" Thor asked quietly, a slight softness in his tone that was distasteful to Loki.

"I don't know, _can you?_" Loki sneered, breaking his 'do-not-offend' rule for the second time. "I don't want to repulse the prince of Ásgard by subjecting his majesty to such a lowly cell as this!"

"Brother…" Thor murmured, rubbing his temples as if he could feel a slight headache coming on. "Do not put your walls up. _Please,_ I came to _talk_ to you, not argue. Every time I've visited, you've had your hackles up. I do not want to be your enemy brother!"

Loki laughed at Thor's words. "Oh dear me, _I'm deeply regretful your majesty!_"

"Loki!" Thor snarled menacingly.

"What would _you _know!?" Loki continued. "How often do you visit? Once a month? I believe it was longer this time… I believe it must've been closer to two? What do you say Thor? How long as it been?"

Thor sighed and motioned to a guard to unlock the cell door so that the blonde prince could step inside.

"I'm sorry Loki, I was caught up." Thor apologised, regret filling his tone.

"Oh, is that what you call it. I expected a little more bravado there I must say… Of course, I still am unclear as to _why _you would even imprison a frost giant. After all, isn't _killing_ more your field? How many have you slayed brother, one thousand? Two thousand? More perhaps? What about the one in front of you, or am I not enough of a _monster_ for you to kill me?" Loki spoke his honest thoughts, wedging the knife between the blonde and himself once again.

Thor became very angry at Loki's words. "You are my brother Loki! Please, stop with this! I cannot bear to look at your face."

"Then _leave!_" Loki yelled, full of hurt and humiliation. "Leave and never come back! That's what you want isn't it! You don't _really_ care what happens to me, you're only here because Frigga _makes_ you visit. Go Thor! Go start a family of your own, marry some nice Æsir woman, have a family together, and even when your kids look to you as they are leaving home, _do not remember me!_"

Tears threatened at the corners of Thor's eyes as he looked down upon his broken brother, covering up his despair by using a thin shield of words.

"Loki," the tall blonde sat down next to his scrawny, half-starved brother and pulled him into a vice embrace. "I will not abandon you. I swear upon my life; because I am your brother… and because I love you."

_Huh, _Loki thought, his moment of weakness in his older brother's arms bringing down his well built mind-walls of protection and defense.

_Maybe there really is forgiveness in this world after all…_

* * *

_Hiiiiiii~! It's me again. This was just a one-shot I wrote a while back and then promptly forgot about.  
I hope you enjoyed it - if you did, please leave a review!_

_See you at my next update: Much Love,  
Soulhearts_


	2. No One Can Truly Forgive

Turning onto his side, the abandoned prince blinked numbly as he awoke. Slowly sitting and drawing himself upright on the dirt covered and flea infested bed, he looked around his tiny jail cell indifferently as he ran a hand through his slimy hair – finding a nit as he did so – and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He once would have been rightly offended by such foul squaller and limited space but he had been living in this tiny, disgusting room for – he shifted slightly in order to scrape another mark across the wall – four-hundred and eight-two days now. More than anything, he was bored out of his mind. With his magic under lock and key, he couldn't even practice that. Though, maybe… maybe things were possibly… changing?

It wasn't like he wanted to get his hopes up or anything but… Thor had been frequenting more recently. It wasn't like he'd admit it aloud, but he enjoyed his brother's visits immensely and every time Ásgard's golden child came, he got a kick from knowing that Odin probably frowned upon his son's visits to the traitor.

Glancing over to the corner of the room, his eyes raked the empty food tray which had remained barren since his last meal four days ago. The dirty metal seemed to glint maliciously at him as his head swam, making him nauseous. All the food he'd saved under his pillow was gone as well… not that mouldy bread and lard was really food at all. When would Thor come again? They always fed him on the days that his brother came…

Sighing lethargically, Loki leaned his back against the cold stony wall as he hummed an old childhood lullaby. Frigga had sung it to him more times than he could count as a child and every Æsir knew at least the first verse. He calmly allowed the words to form in his mind, and soon he was softly singing. Closing his eyes he started to sway a little, drowning himself in the almost mournful tune…

_Carry my son's,_

_West and waywardly,_

_Over the golden fields and land,_

_Winds of time…_

_Wash away your sins,_

_Your soul is clean again,_

_Please return you to me,_

_Oh winds of time…_

Loki allowed himself a little smile as he heard the guard outside the door join in jovially for the third verse wherein the lyrics depicted the soldiers returning gloriously from battle. By the time Loki had reached the fourth verse about the mother's loss, he was so engrossed and lost within the song that he didn't hear the guard outside abruptly stop or the heavy footsteps echoing down the corridor. It was only when the cell door whooshed open, smashing loudly against the wall opposed did he stop warbling out the melodic tune.

Angrily opposite from him was a man that Loki had thought for sure he would never see again. A man he loathed but longed for praise from with every fibre of his being; so much that it hurt to be unable to cry in front of him. _Why couldn't this man love him as he loved Thor?_

"Odin," he greeted calmly, keeping tight control over any wavering tones in his voice. "What does bring the merciful King of Ásgard into my humble cell?"

"Silence!" Odin ordered angrily.

Loki had no idea why the man he'd once called father was so furious at him. Ordinarily the man was so stoic, especially in front of Loki. Whenever Loki had come crying to him as a child, Odin had pasted on his stoicism thickly and told him to take it like a man. Loki had been told to stop his crying immediately because it was unbecoming and improper for a future warrior of Ásgard to cry. Apparently his words had sunk in; Loki had closed off his heart to the world and discarded most of his emotions. If he was to remain in his little cell forever, Thor would one day enter to find nothing but an empty shell of the man he'd once called his brother. Every week since his last day in the sun, he'd discarded one emotion after another. Greed, sadness, fury, wonder, joy… they were all gone. What did he need with such emotions anyway? A frost giant wasn't supposed to have any feelings according to the Æsir fairytales. They were cold, brutal monsters. Loki was only trying his hardest to fit into the mould that his family had told him he belonged in.

"You were chanting a curse; I could hear you from the hallway!"

Loki's brow furrowed in confusion and then it wrinkled even more in order to hide the amusement that he was secretly feeling. _That _was what Odin thought he had been doing? Chanting a curse in order to escape? Innocent singing – trying to keep his hope alive – was wrongly mistaken for evil frost giant magic. Of course it was… Gods only knew that Odin needed another reason to punish him.

"I apologise, I didn't realising singing was against the law now." Loki tried to bite back the quip, but it escaped before he could consciously stop it.

Further enraged by Loki's response, Odin called for the guard outside.

"What crime did this creature commit?" Odin asked the guard as he stepped inside the filthy chamber.

"He committed treason of the highest order, attempted to enslave the inhabitants of Midgard and has committed in total, seventeen singular crimes as decreed by the Royal High Court of Ásgard."

Odin nodded silently before he questioned the guard again.

"And what was he doing just now?"

The guard was stumped. Loki could practically see the man's brain working, if he hadn't have been in such a serious situation he might've laughed.

"Uhh… d-disturbing the peace, your Majesty."

Odin's nostrils flared. "Very well, how would you normally reprimand a violation such as this?"

"A week without rations, sir."

Odin nodded again. "Alright, I expect this to be carried out."

"Yes, your highness!"

Odin left the little cell and the guard quickly followed. Loki could see that the stench of urine and sweat had been affecting the pair more than they'd let on. It didn't matter if Thor came now. He wouldn't be fed until next Friday. _Crap. _Another week without food… he _obviously_ wasn't thin enough. In the back of his mind he wondered how Odin could do this to him without any regret in his heart. Loki had been his _son! _How could the man so easily discard so many centuries of love and affection?

Turning his thoughts back to Thor, Loki genuinely began to wonder when his brother would visit him again. Thor was the only person that treated him half humanely. After all the emotions he had carelessly discarded, the one he knew he would never forget would be the love he'd felt from his elder brother. When Loki did eventually become a hollow shell, and when they started running tours through the prison so that people could gawk at the traitorous prince, when he had literally nothing left… even when this would all surely come to pass, he would still have Thor. Thor would always come for him. Thor loved him. His older brother would be the one thing keeping him alive when the centuries came and went.

_Because Thor was the only one who could truly forgive him…_

* * *

Hello... So I know I said this was a one-shot *sigh* turns out I felt the need to write another chapter and... maybe even a third one...  
I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review if you did.

Much Love,  
Soulhearts


	3. Please Forgive Me

Looking at the mark he'd made, Loki touched it before putting down the stone in his hand and resting his head against the wall.

_Five-hundred and seventy-two._

That was how many days he'd been inside the tiny jail cell he now called home. He'd made his peace with it. He wasn't angry anymore. He wasn't sad or furious or mad… in fact, he felt nothing. There was nothing but an empty numb feeling inside his chest; a feeling that had become progressively worse in the last three months. There was a reason, but Loki didn't want to admit how much Thor's absence was hurting him.

Thor had promised to visit him. He'd said that he wasn't alone. Thor had _promised_…

Loki's chin trembled as he silently shed tears – something he wasn't aware he could still do. Any emotion was different from the numbness; anything was better than allowing himself to sink further into that hazy grey he wasn't sure he'd find his way out from.

"You lied to me too, didn't you…" Loki muttered to the wall, his long, disgusting hair covering his mumbling mouth. "You had your fun playing the caring brother… but you got bored. I guess I'm no fun to play with anymore."

Suddenly he was overcome by a fit of laughter. _It was too good! Oh gods, it was so funny! _

"That's right! I'm your toy, aren't I?" Loki laughed loudly, his eyes looking up madly as he flung open his arms. "Look at the freak in the cage children! Roll up, roll up, first class freak-show entertainment! You won't find a better place than here!"

"Gods Thor," he continued ranting with insane mirth. "Am I boring now? Am I no fun to play with? _That's right little Thor, mummy and daddy found you a little puppy to take care of. When you don't want him anymore, just cast him out. If you don't like this little puppy Thor, I'm sure we can get you another one!_"

All the laughing and shouting suddenly had Loki feeling nauseous and it wasn't very long before he threw up the only thing in his stomach – some sour milk and mush which was probably the leftovers from the pig pen. Every day he felt himself getting weaker. Everyday his mind would disappear into the haze for hours on end. His magic was so weak it might as well have been non-existent. It was all so… terrifying.

"Be quiet in there!" yelled a guard from outside the door. Loki didn't respond as he was still up-chucking the contents of his insides, but he heeded the warning.

Eventually, when he was done vomiting, the ex-prince lay down on his tiny, unclean bed and closed his eyes from fatigue. Sleepily he wondered if his illness was due to his loss of magic – the whole cell was engineered to drain any seiðr away from the occupant after all – and his magic had been drained away from him for almost two years; his reserves were almost fully depleted. He silently mused that he probably didn't have much time left. His entire being was built on magic and without it… well… he'd… die.

Slowly his thoughts started to drift back to his brother, but this time they weren't anything but curious musings. How was his elder brother doing? Had he found himself a nice wife yet (maybe even that Midgardian woman); had they married? It had probably been a lovely ceremony – it was a shame that he'd missed it... And mother… dear old Frigga… how was she? She didn't visit him, why was that? She was probably too busy; she had no time for him.

His thoughts were interrupted when his chest suddenly seized up and he broke out into wild, hacking coughs. When his coughing let up, he lay his head back down onto the pillow and curled up into a ball. He was tired… so very tired. Loki didn't want to fight this anymore… It would be better to give it up and throw it in. He was done. Thor's total absence and Odin's single outburst at him several months ago proved to him that he should just go quietly.

* * *

Several days later thundering footsteps echoed down the hallway and Thor turned around the corridor, his expression starting to turn grim as he prepared himself for what he was about to face. For four months he hadn't visited his brother. Four long months; breaking his last promise to his younger sibling. Loki probably hated him now.

It wasn't his fault either. Odin had forbid him from ever visiting Loki, but Thor had finally managed to convince the Allfather that his presence was needed where Loki was concerned.

Thor secretly knew that Odin didn't hate his youngest child as many claimed that he now did. Odin loved Loki, it was clear as day when the old man spoke about him, but the old man had no idea how to express his love and the anger and betrayal he felt towards Loki was clouding his judgement. Frigga had become angry at him for his awful handling of the situation.

"_Do you not care about our son at all?! You would see him rot in jail for all eternity rather than try and salvage what is left of him! He can be saved Odin, why won't you help him?" _Frigga had screamed, tears streaking unchecked down her flushed cheeks as she begged to know the reasons behind her husband's actions.

Thor had been forced to step in as a mediator between his parents. The whole situation with Loki had put the entire family's relations on a tight strain. After his mother had completely fallen to pieces, Thor had decided action was necessary.

Taking a deep breath, Thor knocked on the solid wooden door as he softly called his brother's name.

"Loki?"

Thor's chest gave a little pang when there was no reply from within. _Loki must hate him so much_. He was an awful big brother. "Loki? I'm coming in, okay?"

When there was still no reply, the older sighed and motioned for the guard to open the door. The guard hurried to comply with the crown prince's order and as soon as the door was unlocked, the regally dressed prince entered. Stepping inside, Thor's gaze immediately fell on Loki's frame and what he saw broke his heart.

On the little bed Thor's younger brother lay dishevelled, dirty and thin as a garden rake. His face was pale and pasty and a light sheen of sweat lay over his forehead. At the noise, Loki was jolted awake and was startled to find Thor standing before him. Unexpectedly, he gave a little smile as he looked at the older Æsir who seemed ever the same as usual – a stark comparison to how he was feeling.

Thor took the few steps required to kneel in the muck by his brother's bedside and his face immediately contorted in concern as he saw how lifeless those once sparkling eyes had become.

"Loki," the older breathed as he pushed back Loki's greasy black bangs from his sweat covered face. "What has happened to you?"

Thor was practically beside himself as he noted how unhealthy his sibling was. No prisoner should live like this, especially not his brother – a once-prince of Ásgard.

"Thor…" Loki practically spat out on a cough. "Why… are you…?"

"Hush little brother, don't speak. I fear you may get worse if you exert yourself." Thor quieted his Jötun brother whom unexpectedly listened to his words. "Loki, I'm going to get you out of here. You should not be living in such conditions as these…"

Thor hoisted Loki up in his arms and the green-eyed man gave a little start as the stronger did so. Thor carried him out of the magic-suppressing cell and Loki immediately felt the effects. It was like someone had lifted a great weight from his chest that he hadn't known he'd been carrying. His magic was slow to return at first, but then it was like he'd pulled a numb limb in from the cold and the sensations in his limb were returning with a pins-and-needles like pain. Eventually it grew stronger and stronger and the return of his magic felt like he was going to be crushed. He screamed and suddenly he was thrashing in Thor's arms so much that the Æsir had to put him down.

Thor looked on as Loki's face expressed a pain beyond words and his mouth gasped in silent screams; it didn't take long for the Jötun to pass out.

Thor wept silently, picking Loki up as his brother fell unconscious.

"_I'm so sorry Loki. Please forgive me…"_

* * *

Oh-yo! It's me again. I hope you liked this chapter :) Please review if you want me to continue. I feel like it could end here or I could add a fuller ending with a chapter or so. Please let me know what you think.

Much Love,  
Soulhearts


End file.
